I’ve been dying to tell this story for 2 years. I just haven’t gotten around to writing it. I’ve told it a few times, but it just sounds far-fetched. But I promise, I really haven’t even embellished. No embellishment necessary… So, here it is. Good old Russia.

11:55pm
End of May.
2009.
ГРАЖДАНСКИЙ ПРОСПЕКТ.
grazhdansky prospekt.
RED METRO LINE.
St. Petersburg.
Russia.

I had just left my friends’ apartment. It was just 2 metro stations north of mine…

I had wanted to walk home… I loved walking… And that way I could have hung around a little longer… But they advised me not to at such an hour.

(I rarely fear for my safety, in fact, I hate it when women are overdramatic about what-if-they-get-raped… I’m not sure that it’s naivety because often I do find myself thinking “hm, someone could jump out behind me right now and hold me at gunpoint…” but it’s more invincibility… In my mind, if the guy jumps out of the bush that’s to my right, or the doorway that’s ahead, I’ll kick him in the pants and run, or I’ll grab the gun and punch him in the nose, or – even more absurd, I’ll come up with some coy plan under the pressure of the moment. Ridiculous, I know, especially considering my size…)

But because of that, I don’t always make wise decisions about things regarding women’s safety, so I don’t always know what is and isn’t an appropriate decision and what is and isn’t appropriate concern.

So, I agreed with their male advice and set off for the metro station… A good 10/15 minute walk away.

Since we had already had that discussion about how walking home alone as a girl probably wasn’t the best idea, I was already a little on the jumpy side… And also because a friend of mine had recently been mugged pretty bad while coming home late… I had my phone close to me just in case something crazy happened and I could dial them if anything went wrong… But I noticed it was almost dead.

When I arrived at the metro station, I knew I’d arrived just in time to catch the last train of the night…

As I’m waiting for it to arrive, I notice a man in his late 30s/early 40s in a black leatherish Russian-style jacket staring at me. Blatantly.

And well, that was a little unusual for me in Russia… Maybe if I were in Egypt, it would be understandable… I stick out there like a sore thumb. But, in Russia, usually, as long as I didn’t open my mouth, I was able to blend in. But apparently not tonight…

At first, I ignored the man. But he kept staring. And not just staring… He stood up. Bent over a little to lean even closer towards me. (He was still over 10 feet away, but I was completely creeped out.) The lean and stare? Wow. That’s intrusive. Really.

For a moment, he looked away, and I scurried to stand on the other side of a near-by pillar where I felt safe… Until all of a sudden, he came running (no joke), around the corner. He saw me. Stopped. And resumed the lean and stare. Eyes locked. It was if I were his child who he lost momentarily and then set off frantically searching for until he found me. Creepy. Beyond creepy. At this point, I was starting to get legitimately creeped out.

“What should I do?”
I started thinking to myself…

I had been legitimately followed once before with a friend and challenged to a fight… At that time, after quickly searching through options, we texted all our other American acquaintances to meet us down in the metro just in case things actually escalated to more than just a few creepers who followed us onto the train to harass us… (That’s another story for another time)…

But this time, all the other Americans had left… I had a Russian friend who lived quite far away, the 2 friends whose house I’d just left, a foreign friend who never answered her phone, and another foreign friend who lived where I did but was out of town for the moment… So the texting them to meet me in the metro thing wasn’t really an option this time.

I considered walking back to the friends’ house I’d just come from and asking them to take a taxi home with me. (Taxi’s are apparently shady at night for alone girls as well…) Or at least calling a reputable company for me… But, if this guy really were a creeper enough, he could just follow me back there. Probably, he could run faster than I, and then he could do anything creepy he was planning to… So that was out. “Call”, I felt slightly stupid… but, “Call,” I thought, “Call them… At least if something DOES happen, someone will know what it was to tell my family.” As I picked up my phone to call them, it went dead. Completely dead.

“So this is good,” I thought, “No friends. No phone. Foreign country. Barely proficient in the language.”

Ok, soooo, just stay around other people I thought…

But that’s a problem too. You see, in Russia, everyone minds their own business. So much so, that if you get robbed, everyone will look the other way as you get punched in the face and what-not. In fact, an american got mugged by 4 guys in the middle of an open area with plenty of people around… (Though I wouldn’t be surprised if he had instigated something with his american arrogance…) So, even in public, if this guy decided to do something crazy, I was screwed. And maybe even literally.

I knew I was probably being over dramatic, but still, I had to be kind of practical…

I mean, What if?

And this guy… I mean wow… he was still staring… Now his mouth was gaping. It was the gaping-mouth lean and stare. I was appalled, shocked, and slightly terrified… all at the same time…

I considered every alternative for what he could be doing, but it was clear that he was staring at me.

And I was beginning to get legitimately worried… At first it had been solely precautionary, but this… this was turning into for real worrying…

I moved posts again, a little further down the tracks this time, hoping that he’d just give up, and that perhaps it’d just been an unlucky wrong place at the wrong time kind of thing…

A few minutes later, here he comes again… He ran faster than before, and a little more frantically. When he locked his eyes on me this time, he seemed more crazed. And then he picked up his phone to make a phone call. I was too far away to hear what he was saying. But still… Picture it. Now, he’s leaning, mouth open when he’s not talking, eyes still locked on me, and now talking on the phone… I was super creeped out. Plus, I’d just watched “Taken”.

“Oh my God, he’s calling his friends,” I thought.

It wasn’t a serious thought. I didn’t REALLY think that the phone call had anything to do with me.

But you have to admit, this is starting to get pretty creepy… So, my brain is scanning through every possible scenario.

I knew I had to have some kind of plan… even if it was lame…

When the train arrived, I’d rush to another train car 2 or 3 away from the current way, and by the time he figures it out, the doors will already be shut. We’ll already be moving. And he won’t be able to see where I get off the train. Brilliant.

FINALLY, the train arrived.

I waited a few seconds, pretended to enter the car in front of me, watched him start enter the compartment directly in front of us, then executed my plan. I sprinted to a compartment (?) a few cars back and sat down. Relief. Freedom.

But the doors remained open. And the train remained stopped.

I’d never been on the last metro of the night before, but apparently they wait for an extra amount of time to make sure they catch all the late-running passengers.

And guess what happened while we were waiting…

Stalky stalkerson came running even faster and even more frantically than before, (after he’d already entered one metro car!!!)… scanning quickly as he passed each car… until he saw me. He stopped. Picked up his phone again. Entered. Sat right across from me.

Before I could sprint to another car, the doors shut.

My face must have gone white at that point.

He sat, leaning forward, staring at me the entire ride.

I locked eyes with him. Embracing the challenge. Plus, I don’t know if this is true, but I’ve heard that if you look your potential attacker in the eye for an extended amount of time, he’s less likely to actually attack you… But this was Russia, all bets are off (or on, rather).

“Oh my God, I’m gonna have to fight this man.”

And I started trying to figure out what I’d do once we reached the top of the metro where the metro security was no longer present. I got my keys out; I held them between my fingers, so I could jab him in the eye or face…. I mentally prepared to have to kick a man in the nuts… even to take more dramatic measures… Ridiculous, I know. But, I felt desperate… And having seen what happened to my friend after he’d been mugged, I assumed for me it’d be even worse since I’m a girl… and he and his buddies would probably rape me, so I might as well do whatever damage I can…

I held our locked gaze, all the while trying to come up with fight tactics if it came to that… He leaned a little closer, and I tried to deeper my death stare.

And I formulated the last part of my plan.

When we arrived at академическая (akademicheskaya) metro station (my stop), I would wait a few seconds in my seat, and then jump otu at the last minute before the doors shut… leaving creepo man out on the last train…

Luckily, it worked.

I sat. Locked gaze still happening. And then I sprinted out of the car as the doors shut closely behind me. Not even joking.

I don’t know if he would have followed me out of that train, but I’m glad I didn’t have the chance to find out.

And that was the night I really thought I might not make it home…

Welcome to Russia. I still secretly love that place though 🙂