Signs.

Here’s a compilation of delightful signs I’ve put together over the years. Some are funny. Some are obscure. Some just give me a jolly chuckle. Some are just worded interestingly. I’ve posted some of them before, but enjoy!

SINGAPORE

I’m really glad they had a sign… Otherwise, I wouldn’t have known.
3rd picture: No Durians. They’re serious… those things stink.
Lol.
No washing of vehicles. Aw man! That’s why I drove all the way up here in the middle of the jungle – to wash my car!
They’re a real threat…
Insert Aggie caption. Or innuendo.
i’m pretty sure that’s not how it goes…
“No naked flame”, but clothed flames are ok.
a bouncy castle?
And hit you on the head…
“avoid eye contact…”
No catching of insects.
don’t put your hand next to a fish blowing bubbles or a turtle.
I was also really glad they told me about this…
Only in Singapore.
I just like the part that says “pick up your dog’s poop”. Thank you for the clarity, Singapore.

INDONESIA

haha. Don’t squat on a sitting toilet. The picture is the best part.
Respect morality.
I like that one that looks like it should say “No surprise jumping people from above.”
I was about to get inside the toilet and smoke, but then I saw this sign…
“Mystery Menu Surprise every “45 minutes”” I don’t know if I should be more afraid of the fact that it’s a mystery menu or that it changes every 45 minutes.
Texas Chicken. Everyone kept asking us if we wanted to go to ‘Texas Chicken’ since it was from Texas. We assured them we’d never heard of it before.
DNA = “Dance n’ attitude

MALAYSIA

Hahaha. This is my favorite sign. Don’t squat on a normal toilet.
This is how good their waxing product is
Hm?
please note the middle 2 pictures. No sticking gum places. No making out.
I think the best part is that you could have a legit excuse that you can’t figure out what the pictures mean.
So many rules to remember!

THAILAND

Thai History + Thai Art = Thai National Museum Shop. Well, hurry up, we gotta go there!
No pirates. #3: “Nonguest cannot go upstairs, anyone who stays without registering (room pirate) will be fined 3 times the cost of the room.”

CAMBODIA

Mexican food? In Cambodia?!
Legitimately my favorite rule ever: “No shouting”
No Sitting on Balustrade… even if it has a really cool shape that reminds you of a dragon

LAOS

No thouch. I think they were going for ‘touch’. A friend in Russia used to say he could make a living simply retranslating the signs that have been translated… You could do the same thing in Asia for sure.
Only women can cross here? Be careful driving because women cross extra slow here? Stop for women crossing but men and kids don’t matter?
No mosquitos. If only they listened.
But he looks hungry!
Don’t swimming area.
Fire setting is not allo wed.
??

JAPAN

Some people died while eating this… Oh good. It’s dangerous for old people and kids.
Wait time for Osaka Krispy Kreme Donuts.
cycle soccer? sounds intense.

INDIA

Park Rules… read below…

first, notice the groupings.
remember those homework papers you used to get like in 3rd grade that ask
“which thing doesn’t fit in the group?”
A. dog
B. cat
C. steak
D. rabbit

ya, apparently, they don’t have those worksheets in India
2. no cooking, smoking, loudspeakers, or shooting. 
also, 3. no washing clothes, bathing, playing hockey, football, or cricket

also notice:
4. no sticking of bills… ???? cuz I was planning on sticking money everywhere.

i was lucky though for number 6. keep it Green. no worries there mate. well, wrong country. But anyway. no worries… I’m keepin it Green 😛

Hahaha. Best trash can slogan ever. “USE ME”
please note numbers 4 and 7.
Also, number 6 was made especially for people like me 😛
don’t urine here
Even in the middle of the Himalayas, these did not sound appetizing.
“Unbelievable is not it”
Drive on Horse Power Not on Rum Power
After whisky driving risky
“Don’t be gama in the land of lama.” I still don’t get it.
It is not rally, enjoy the valley. ?
I really wanted some cackes.
Not the same Olive Garden.
Know aids no aids.
We cut the mountains but connect hearts. Haha. Not in our case.
Taj Mahal. They prohibit everything!
IMG_9733
I was annoyed cuz I got segregated. “High value ticket holders – Gents”. And then Indian Ladies. And then Ladies.
No vendering.
Thumbs up.
Apparently this is a common problem.
“The association accepts no liability to any person using the lifts.” Doesn’t instill much comfort… exactly why I hate elevators in other countries.
3. “Do not put any footprint or stain on your wall”. 4. “Do not take any blanket and pillow from your neighbor room.” 5. “Please don’t put any hard things inside toilet seat. It could be blocked.” 6. “Close your window, cardigan, and switch off all your electricity while not in use.”
“In the interest of food hygeine, wash only hands here.” That makes me nervous about all the places that didn’t have signs… What other things were people trying to wash?
“Hingly INFILAMMAL”
“HIGHLY INFLALAMMABLE” nope. still didn’t quite get it.

RUSSIA

№3 No walking pet rocking horses… №4 No jumping off the towers… №7 No skiing… №12 No using your super strength to snap down trees with your bare hands.
“Faced with corruption?” And then I like the picture that essentially says, “Punch out corruption.”
No ice cream?!

UKRAINE.

Last 2: No balloons. No ice cream. What is it with post Soviet countries and ice cream?
Kiev soccer team is called Dynamo… just like Houston’s 😛

FRANCE

oh my!
“Ours is ice cold”. Ummm, ya, i’m pretty sure it’s not because this is Europe and you don’t believe in ice. (But that’s ok cuz I like it better that way).

JAMAICA

scariest door decoration ever.

GERMANY

only girls can park here. And i’m not joking or being sarcastic.
In case you were wondering.

NETHERLANDS

hahaha. and YUM.

IRELAND

In the U.S., “very slow” means, “slow down like 5 mph”, in Ireland, “very slow” means, “you better slow down to where you’re driving 5mph”
Most complicated porta potty ever.
Leprechauns or elves cross here. Fitting for Ireland 😛
“Irish American for Obama.” This was taken on St. Patrick’s Day of March 2009, soon after Obama’s first election. Almost every person who found out we were American congratulated us on Obama’s win. In the Dingle parade, we counted multiple vehicles with Obama’s picture on them.
We weren’t sure what was happening here, but it looked delicious.
Obviously the best street ever.

CZECH REPUBLIC

“Hotel”. Hahaha. Not where we stayed that’s for sure.

EGYPT

Not sure if this is saying “No soccer” or “Only soccer”
2nd picture. You can sit here if your baby is about to burst out of your abdomen like an alien baby.

DUBAI, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES

AUSTRALIA

the horrors of driving… also a funny contrast to India’s attitude towards pedestrians…

“please take your rubbish home”. we don’t believe in trashcans, so take it all the way HOME.

NOW they tell us?!?!

one of my favorites 🙂

Do not enter… or you will DIE

no joke… they literally have ‘power nap areas’. hahahaha. soooooo awesome.

soooo, like, can i register now?..

yesssssss. this brings me back to the days of “Yall needa get yalls mindsss fixed *snaps*” but none of yall would get that reference…

ya, it’s not even a joke, and Australia really has penguins…

so one of my friend’s friends who studies here ran over one of these (wombat)

watch out! we have a multitude of loose wandering feet around here!

if you can’t read it, it says, “Slowing down won’t kill you”….
and later there’s another one that says, “But sleeping will…”

No life saving service… we also don’t like Indonesia or Monaco.

NEW ZEALAND

Kiwi birds are really awesome. Also, it confuses me slash cracks me up when things say “take care”, when they actually mean “watch out”.

bahahaha. i laughed out-loud when i saw this at a coffee stand in a town of like 300 people. and several locals there turned and looked at me…

New Zealand has these owl signs everywhere! they crack me up…

… i’m sorry… ??? what????

when i first saw this sign, I thought it was in Fahrenheit, and I thought to myself, “Come on guys, Texas is hotter than this at least a forth of the year”, but then I realized it was in Celcius…

well, at least this one doesn’t say “you may die”

again, what????? for the next corner, i plan to grab onto the handle next to the door…

U.S.A.

San Antonio.
“Oh my, you should eat” Chicago.
Chicago
Jesus is in that box. You could make so many spiritual analogies out of that.
New York. I wonder if this street makes any one feel extra proud or extra awkward or extra contraversial.

Well folks, that’s all for now. I hope you enjoyed them.

One thought on “Signs.”

  1. I think the one about putting your hand near the fish and turtle blowing bubbles is actually meant to be “don’t feed the wildlife,” or “don’t throw your change at them…because they might buy snacks.” Whichever you prefer. 😉

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